Shaun of the Dead

I doubt there are many zombie fans out there who have not already seen Shaun of the Dead, but if you happen to be one of remaining few, rent this movie right now. Hell, go ahead and buy it, because it is definitely worth watching, repeatedly. The film is an exceptionally entertaining British production that masterfully honors George Romero, undead humor, and the zombie genre as a whole.

Bizarrely forged from the framework of a romantic comedy, Shaun of the Dead shines a humorous light on the monotony of an ordinary couple's life, the desire for something more, and how truly living can bring about a whole new appreciation for the simple life. In addition to general hilarity, the film also serves up a delightful helping of blood, gore, mental anguish, and solidly grim overtones.

Ok, now that I've made it clear how much I love this movie, I'll admit that I had slightly more mixed feelings about the actions and survival strategies employed by the film's protagonists. Of course this was all scripted for comedy, but for the purposes of our discussion lets consider a scenario where someone actually made these decisions.

*Warning* Spoilers

[WEAPONS]

As was demonstrated shortly after Shaun and Ed realized that they were in the middle of a zombie attack, most survivors aren't likely to have an arsenal of firearms at their immediate disposal. Most folks will initially have to make due with whatever they can find around the house.

In the first few moments of initial surprise and panic, Shaun and Ed were understandably throwing anything and everything within reach at the approaching zombie, but in a fleeting moment of ingenuity, Ed grabbed a heavy glass ashtray and used it to smash the skull of the attacking ghoul. Now given the success with smashing the zombie's skull with a heavy object, you'd think that these fellows would have immediately proceeded to seek out other heavy blunt objects to arm themselves with. Instead they decided to attack the zombies in the garden with a laundry hamper full of odds-and-ends that ranged from silverware to a toaster.

Unable to achieve much accuracy with these items, the two discovered that vinyl records could be launched with a slightly better hit rate. However, as should have been abundantly clear, they didn't prove to have much stopping power. Finally, after a futile barrage of black plastic, Shaun requisitions a cricket bat and a shovel from a backyard shed, and the two buddies quickly finish off the conveniently patient zombies.

I do want you to fully enjoy the humor of these gentlemens' antics, but for safety's sake, please make an effort to regularly take note of your surroundings and consider what common items could be quickly commandeered and used effectively against the undead. While I've never held a cricket bat before, I imagine that it would be similar, in effectiveness, to that of a baseball bat. Do also consider garden tools, like Ed's shovel. Anything of a decent length, with a sharp or weighty end piece, like hoe or ax, could serve as a reasonably effective weapon. Just please don't gamble your life on the aerodynamics of your vintage vinyl collection.

[RESCUING OTHERS]

An important concept that comes up in this film is the issue of rescuing family and loved ones. Now while I would like to take the stance of voting for self preservation, there is no denying the fact that many people, including myself, would go to great, even foolish, lengths to join or save those most dear to them. If you're given to that inevitable decision, please take the time to make a plan, and do everything in your power to avoid throwing your life away needlessly. In Shaun and Ed's situation, the streets were still relatively clear of zombies, and they had access to a vehicle. While certainly not without risk, the pair were able to make their escape, and pick up Shaun's parents, girlfriend, and friends with relative ease.

[VEHICLES]

nNow while I said their retrieval went off with relative ease, it certainly was not without incident, and ended with the survivors having to abandon the car as Shaun's stepfather succumbed to his wounds and turned into a zombie. However, I honestly think the biggest hazard to their health, up to that point, was Ed's reckless driving. In the event of an outbreak, you should probably flee the area as quickly as possible, but there is no need to risk life and limb by speeding unnecessarily. If anything, you should probably be driving much more slowly than usual, as the chaos will have likely caused other auto wrecks, frightened other people into driving recklessly, and resulted in a unusual amount of debris on the roads. Even if an outbreak\'s zombies prove to be of the high-energy-sprinting variety, you don't need to be driving much more than 20mph to easily out distance them.

[SHORT-TERM DEFENSE]

nMoving on from Ed's questionable driving style, I now have to ponder why they chose a pub as their place of refuge. I would agree that it looked to be a more defensible position than Shaun and Ed's flat, but why on earth did they choose it over Liz's (Shaun's girlfriend) apartment. Liz's place was at a second story level, and it looked to be a fairly secure building. Not only were there likely more supplies, that could be salvaged from neighboring apartment units, but it would have cut out the entire risk of attempting to travel to another destination. Granted, they wouldn't have had the pleasure of a full open bar at their disposal and they would have had to deal with Shaun's stepfather dieing and turning on them in the apartment, but they also would not have had to travel a such a lengthy distance on foot through a zombie infested neighborhood.

Speaking of the 'on foot' portion of their journey, I have to express my complete skepticism regarding their success at pretending to be zombies, by moaning and shuffling awkwardly, and managing to walk unnoticed through the zombie crowd surrounding their final destination. Granted, it was funny as hell to watch. I just don't plan on testing out that theory myself.

[SURVIVOR PSYCHOLOGY]

An aspect of the film that I would like to compliment is the rather believable, portrayal of the David character's mental deterioration, and its adverse effect on the group as a whole. We all know that surviving a zombie outbreak is likely to be a challenging endeavor, at the very least, but having to deal with the volatility of someone who has lost the means to act calmly and rationally will greatly endanger your odds of survival. As we saw in the film, David went from being argumentative and obstructive in the beginning, to panicked shouting and yelling upon entering the pub, to attempting to shoot Shaun towards the end of the movie.

While some might write this off as merely a device intended to create tension and drama in the film, the fact of the matter is that very few people really know how they will react in a live-or-die situation. Some people, like Shaun, will rise to the occasion and perform admirably. However, I'm guessing that most people will not. Perfectly normal folks, who haven't exhibited a hint of mental instability in their lives, will find themselves unable to cope with the situation, and will respond with panic, violence, silence, anger, anguish, and everything in-between.

I've pondered the question of mental stability in the past, but I still really don't have any great advice to offer. I can only suggest that you be on your guard, do your best to keep your fellow survivors calm, and attempt to foster a common feeling of purpose and hope in the group.

[ZOMBIE DOMESTICATION]

I know this post is dragging on way too long, so I'll only mention one last item, that being the humorously introduced idea that the undead make "ideal recruitment for the service industry." Well, I still haven't had an opportunity to watch the relatively new film, Fido, that addresses this very topic, but I'm fairly confident in saying that this idea will only end badly.